God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have feelings that need drinking.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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