'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
