He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That accounts for only three of the penises
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
