was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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