you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
