I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
