so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize