It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize