I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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