I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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