i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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