Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the day after is always just damage control
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
