I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
