she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
