umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
