so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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