youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
