ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
