I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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