at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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