Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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