Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
