She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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