I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
