naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
