Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
