I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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