They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
