It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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