Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
