Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
