My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
