Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
