Yo dont text me then not text me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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