I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
