i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
