We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
