just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
