the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
