Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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