Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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