I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
