dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
