Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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