So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
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Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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