i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
