Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
