The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
