I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
