i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
