Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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