Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That accounts for only three of the penises
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize