We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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