i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
