i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
