its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
