You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
