I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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