I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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