There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
