Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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